The Day I Became a Fan of Selena Gomez

Selena Gomez. Singer, actress, Justin Bieber’s ex, a Disney Channel product, Am I a little bit too old to be one of her fans? Maybe, but that has not much to do with all of that. It has to do with this one post on her Instagram.

‘It’s about humanity. Pray for Gaza’. ‘Please pray for those families and babies today. Please always remember what’s important in life. It’s not any of this. We are here to help, inspire and love. Be that change. #wearethenextgeneration’ she added as a personal comment.

As soon as she posted it, people from all over the world started to like (474769 likes 12 hours after) and comment, creating an international debate between her fans:

‘Thank you Selena finally some truth here.’

‘You don’t know how it feels!!! You’ve never been here, now you lost all your fans in Israel.’

Some decided to ‘unfollow’ her and some, like me, started to follow her just because of this post.

Why? It’s a simple message for peace. Nothing too radical you might say. True. But when it comes to Palestine, any message that sounds more or less supporting can provoke a stir.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting an artist as popular as Selena Gomez to post anything like it. Being part of the #bringourgirlsback campaign, taking a picture with the Dalai Lama or asking for world peace, those are noble statements but they also are consensual. They’re not going to threaten one’s career. Taking side in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is another level of engagement, maybe the toughest. One of the main reasons is the power of the zionist lobby. Any criticism against Israel can lead to an accusation of being antisemitic.

I’m still baffled that Selena Gomez, an American mainstream artist with mainly teenager fans, had the courage to show her support to Gaza. Few days ago, Rihanna had to deny supporting Palestine and explained that her #FreePalestine tweet was a mistake. The ‘unwanted’ tweet lasted for only 8 minutes. Let’s hope Selena’s post will last longer.

It may seem minor. The interpret of ‘Come and Get It’ is not a politician or an activist but she has fans all over the world. Artists are often role models for their fans and have the power to raise awareness. Selena Gomez has over 11 million followers on Instagram. I hope that the 21-year old be able to face criticism and pressure.

The Day My Auntie Insulted Me

I know you’re all dying to know who is this ‘someone’ and that you hate me for keeping you in suspense. Well the wait is over. Let me introduce you to Khadeja Sana. She’s Muslim, young, pretty, a smart dresser who covers her hair. She even has a blog, just like me: becomingsana.blogspot.com.au

No, no, don’t worry, I didn’t fall in love again, on the contrary. I’m talking about my 18-year old ex’s aunt. Fond of me at the beginning, she ended up sending me the worse message ever via Facebook. (Apparently I can make good first impressions but that doesn’t last.) My crime? As I said in my previous post, I took off my relationship status of Facebook. Judge for yourself. For non-Farsi speakers, begharat means someone without pride. Warning. This message contains strong language and sexual references from the outset and throughout. (Thank you MTV)

I think this little work of art says more about its author than anything I could add. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner auntie San. You see, I tried to call you. Looks like you blocked my number. I guess things are easier when one is hidden behind a screen. I have to say I’m a bit disappointed by your little essay. You could have made it more personal. You could have attacked me on my many flaws. Insulting someone is so common. You could have written that to anybody. Now I don’t feel special anymore. I have to admit that the immigrant part is funny though. I didn’t realize you were an Aboriginal Australian. Aren’t you the daughter of Afghan refugees? That would explain the spelling mistakes in your message. Little tip from a French immigrant: ‘epidemy of begharat’ doesn’t mean anything. I think you meant epitome, right? And one last thing, you mentioned the phone your niece gave me. You should check the Holy Quran 2.264. It’s about reminding people of your good deeds… you’re not supposed to do it.

Reactions

People around me were really shocked by the kind of language used. ‘How is your relationship her business?’ ‘Is she crazy?’ ‘The last paragraph… WT*?!’ ‘I’m sure you won’t come close to an Afghan again.’ (Coming from an Afghan) My mother’s reaction was more balanced: ‘Aren’t you shocked?’ ‘I’m happy they didn’t kill you. […] You know these people are a bit backward.’ ‘But she’s veiled. How can she talk like that?’ ‘You still don’t know that people may seem good from the outside but aren’t always inside?’ Dear Khala Sana, I have to thank you. Your scatological letter, (I’m sure Freud would have a lot to say about that too), helped me to  take my decision. I was still hesitating about my relationship with your niece. You gave me an answer. So merci (tashakor in French)! But the real disappointment in all of this, was my ex’s reaction. To be continued…

The Day My Life Turned Into a Bollywood Movie (8)

Capítulo Final

This is almost what happened. Only this love story took place in Sydney and the characters were not Mexicans. The Sandoval family is actually an Afghan Australian family. Nevertheless, the events are real and I really had the impression that my life turned into a telenovela and when things got worse to a Bollywood movie.

Things were to complicated to work. ‘When you’ll find the right person, everything will be simple’ I heard.

This was clearly not the case. Meddling mother in law, well meddling family in law I should say. Parenting a child who wasn’t mine (even though I love him). Visa/job situation. Her traumatic first marriage.

At first, I thought that these ordeals shouldn’t stop me. I should face them. A marriage isn’t just about good moments, it’s for better or worse. And this is where we were heading: marriage. The point wasn’t to ‘go out’. She even gave me a deadline for me to propose (see Episodio 2 – The Ultimatum).

The problem was that after our sixth month anniversary, I wasn’t sure if fighting all these hardships was worth it anymore. Every month there was a fight. At some point, I felt that she enjoyed provoking them. Consciously or unconsciously, I don’t know. Was it her personality? Was she so insecure that she had to provoke fights to be sure I will come back? I even came to the conclusion that she wanted someone who will make her suffer, that she had a self-destructive behaviour. Her mother, her brother, her ex-husband, they all were tough and controlling and maybe I was too nice for her. I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that. 

The other theory was suggested by a friend of mine. I was telling him about these constant fights and that I was tired of it. Most of them were about me not being caring enough. Our final fight was about that. The day before our sixth month anniversary, she sent me an SMS. She got upset because my reply wasn’t long enough. Huh? After having told my friend the story, I started to question myself.

‘Maybe she’s right, I’m not caring enough.’

‘No I think it’s because of her mother. Now that she’s against your relationship, she’s pressuring her. That’s why she acts this way.’

The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Maybe she sabotaged our relation because her mother’s approval was more important. 

After two weeks of not speaking or seeing each other, I took off my relationship status on Facebook. It wasn’t final though. We could always have tried again. I just did it because, at this moment, it wasn’t making sense anymore. 

To answer you, Azra, yes I was in love. Yes, I wanted to marry her.

So why is it the end of my telenovela/Bollywood movie? Because of this someone I mentioned in the last episode.

Who is it? Why her intervention changes everything? All the answers here.

The Day My Life Turned Into a Bollywood Movie (7)

Episodio 7 – An Unexpected Email

The conversation between Señora Sandoval and her son-in-law hasn’t been a success. Alejandro didn’t get straight answers from her but only pieces. Plus it ended up badly when she forbid her daughter to see him again.

So why didn’t she hire him after all?

First piece of answer: She told Alejandro that when she came back from Mexico, she heard that Maria and im had a fight on New Year’s Eve. He replied that every couple has fights.

Second piece of answer: She was not the only one to decide. He replied that she is the founder and head of the firm.

Third piece of answer: When she suggested him for a position, Carlos, Victoria Sandoval’s right-hand man told her that he didn’t know what he was doing. He replied that he was never trained by her team. Do you know why? Because before she left the country, she didn’t tell them that he was about to be hired. The lawyers at the firm thought he was just interning.

After this call, Alejandro wasn’t expecting anything from the firm anymore. But that was not the end yet. The day after, Victoria tried to convince her daughter to stop seeing Alejandro. She insisted, got angry and she even threatened her, using Maria’s worst memories. 

But it was counterproductive. It pushed Maria even more into her fiancé’s arms.

Few days later, the young Mexican received a totally unexpected email: from Carlos. First surprise, he told him that he wasn’t aware of what Victoria and Alejandro agreed on. The second was that he was willing to meet him at the office to see what they can do.

‘Really? Now she wants to give me a job after the whole ‘Over my dead body’ thing?’

Alejandro replied, explaining the whole situation, how Mrs. Sandoval offered him a job, how he was supposed to be trained and how after a few months, nothing happened. He also reminded them that he went to the best law school in Mexico and that he could speak three languages in case they forgot. The young man sent the email to Carlos, Victoria and Maria.

‘Did you read my email?’

‘I did! My mother said that you embarrassed her in front of her staff.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘I know, right? Carlos told her that mixing personal with professional could affect the company.’

Despite this episode, Maria stood by Alejandro, she even told him that he was right and that she wasn’t surprised by her mother’s behaviour. 

Months went by. Good moments, bad ones. Passion, drama. Love, hate. Regular dating, with a baby dating. Wedding plans, visa situation in the way.

Victoria was still in the background, telling her daughter, every now and then, that they weren’t meant for each other. She who ‘fell in love’ with him the first time she met him. She who was pressuring them to get engaged few weeks after their first encounter. Is she the reason why the couple ended their relationship few months later? Was it because of Maria’s traumatic first marriage? Because of Alejandro’s difficult situation and the fact that he might go back to Mexico? Because he wasn’t romantic enough? Maybe for all of these reasons. Maybe they just weren’t right for each other.

Alejandro didn’t know but this is what happened. After more than seven months of relation, they split up. As hard as it was for him to cope with it, there was something preventing him to try again, something or to be more precised someone. 

Continuará…

The Day My Life Turned Into a Bollywood Movie (6)

 Episodio 6 – Fighting The Queen – Part 2

‘Over my dead body! You’re not marrying him anymore!’ Victoria told her daughter. As expected, the conversation between her and Alejandro didn’t go well.

Before calling his boss/mother-in-law, the young lawyer was apprehensive. He knew that she could react badly but he had to do it. He had to ask her why her behaviour had changed so much. Why she didn’t keep her word. Why she was saying everything and its contrary.

She wanted the couple to get married and was really pushing things forward. She was telling Maria she doesn’t mind baby sitting Juan so they can go out.  But then,  she would complain and lecture her for going out.

Once she called Alejandro and at the end of the conversation she told him that if he wasn’t sure to get married, he should step away. But few weeks later, on Valentine’s Day, she told her daughter: ‘If he proposes to you tonight, say yes.’ The young lawyer was confused.

Alejandro couldn’t understand all these changes of behaviour, her ambivalence towards him. One minute, he was the best son-in-law she could have dreamed of, the other, he wasn’t committed enough. She wanted him to stay here with her daughter but didn’t concretely do anything for that to happen.

She knew that for a wedding to happen, Alejandro needed a job  and a visa. Otherwise, he would go back to Mexico and Maria would follow him with her son.

‘You cannot separate her from her family.’

‘I will have to go back to Mexico and Maria will come with me. If you were really willing to make things work you would have given me a job.’

‘So you’re saying that if I don’t give you a job, you will punish me by taking my daughter and my grandson away from me?’

‘No, I’m saying that when my visa expires I will have to go back. And of course they will follow me.’

‘Anyway you can’t leave the country without the permission of Juan’s father and I will not support you in court.’

‘I never asked for your help. I don’t need your support nor your money.I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t want you to be involved in our relationship. I don’t want you, your son or Maria’s father to keep on meddling in our relationship.’

Alejandro called Maria right away after hanging up. He told her the discussion didn’t go well and that her mother might be upset.

While they were talking, the young woman received a message from her mother saying : ‘Over my dead body! You will not marry him anymore.’

Six months after ‘you look like Paradise’, Victoria Sandoval totally reviewed her opinion on her son-in-law. The young man wondered: ‘Will Maria be strong enough to fight her mother?’ 

Continuará…

The Day My Life Turned Into a Bollywood Movie (5)

Episodio 5 – Fighting the Queen – Part 1

‘You look like Paradise.’ That’s what Señora Sandoval said to Alejandro the first time she met him.

She also told him he was ‘too good to be true’.  If it wasn’t love at first sight for Maria and Alejandro, it was for Victoria and Alejandro. Both impressed and appreciative of each other. Straight away she thought he would make a good husband for her daughter.

First, she invited him over to introduce him to Esteban, her son. The same evening, he also met Victoria’s younger sister who thought he would be good for Maria too.

‘He has so much light on his face,’ she told Maria, trying to persuade her to meet him. You see, her mother already introduced her to someone in the past, her ex-husband, and the marriage was a disaster. On top of that, they don’t have the same taste when it comes to men, thus Maria wasn’t too sure about trusting her mother again. But since her aunt was so eulogistic about the potential suitor, she agreed to meet him.

Fond of the young lawyer, Victoria promised him a lot: a wife, a job, a visa.

Victoria had said that she would hire him, therefore he will get a permanent visa to stay in the country.

Before she left the country, Alejandro tried to call his mother-in-law to be but she didn’t answer. Things were left unchanged until she comes back to Miami.

Tres meses después – Three months later

Up and down. That’s the best way to describe the relationship. Love, fights, gifts, arguments, restaurants and baby sitting.

The couple had a challenging winter but they were still together.

The source of most problems was Alejandro’s situation. Without being hired, he will have to leave the country in July. Maria wanted to get engaged before. But Alejandro was hesitating. Without a job or a stable situation, how can he get engaged, let alone married?

Surprisingly when Sra Sandoval came back from Mexico, things didn’t change.

Even though she reiterated her promise when she was there. ‘Tell him not to worry, I will find him a job when I’m back,’ she said once more time to her daughter.

In fact, she had several opportunities to hire him but nothing happened.

Alejandro was disappointed. There are things that he doesn’t understand, lack of honesty is one of them. Did she lie? Why didn’t she keep her word? Her attitude towards the relationship changed too. Sometimes she was for it, sometimes against.

Alejandro decided to end his internship at the firm but he still had to clear things out with her. She was no longer his boss but she was still his mother-in-law to be.

One night, while he was at Maria’s, she came. Even if she was trying to talk with him. He remained cold. Things were awkward but Alejandro didn’t want to have an explanation in front of his fiancée.

‘I have to call your mother. It has nothing to do with you but I just wanted to inform you beforehand’. Last time he had a conversation with her, she changed what he said when reporting to her daughter and it lead to a temporary split-up.

The young man was apprehensive. Victoria was the kind of woman to get easily offended. He knew that if the conversation doesn’t go well, she would ask her daughter to end the relation.

He was right, this is exactly what happened.

Continuará…

The Day My Life Turned Into a Telenovela (4)

Episodio 4 – The Threenager 

Alejandro has pictured his future wife many times in many ways, but never did he picture her with a child.

He imagined that he would meet her, fall in love, get engaged, get married, go on a honeymoon  and then have her for himself only. For himself only, because he didn’t want children.

The fact that Maria had a son obviously changed his plans. But the young man wasn’t entirely disappointed.

He didn’t want to be responsible for bringing someone else in this world. That was a choice he made years ago, but he knew that most women, especially observant ones, want babies. It would definitely be an issue.

Having already a son, Maria was a good candidate for marriage. Alejandro thought that she would be more likely to accept his position on the subject. Having already a son, it would be easier for her to renounce to have more children, comparing to someone who was never married.

Alejandro met Juan (Juanito, as he likes to call him) the same night he met his mother. The little boy didn’t say a word the whole time. The young lawyer found that rude. When he was a child himself, his parents would never have allowed this kind of behaviour.That was the first sign that made him think the little boy was spoiled. This selective mutism went on for a few weeks. Juanito wouldn’t speak to Alejandro when he was coming over. The threenager would go in his room and slam the door. In the car, he would pretend to be asleep and fake snore.

Once, the three of them went to the beach. The little brat refused to say please to get a candy. What kind of child does that, Alejandro asked himself. The problem was more serious than he thought.

And then, there was the first tantrum. Juanito didn’t want to leave the park they went to. He started to cry and call for his mother.

‘Let him cry. He’s a kid. That’s what they do. That’s their weapon!’

‘Mamaaaa!’

‘I can’t. I can’t stand him calling me like that.’ She picked him up and held him to the car.

This episode scared him. Could he date a single mother after all?  How was he going to deal with this little prince?

Feeling guilty for divorcing, Maria couldn’t discipline her child. She’d rather give him whatever he asks and let him do whatever he wants, in order to compensate the absence of his father. But the little prince was not only spoiled by his mother. His grandmother, too, was part of the problem, his uncle, his mother’s cousins… Well everybody. And that’s something the young man cannot stand. There is something about fake crying and tantrums that pushes his button.

The young lawyer had to take a decision: break up, stay and suffer or defy the little king’s authority. He chose the latter. One day, it was too much. Juanito refused to eat, again! It had been going on for days now and Maria was not going to help.

‘I don’t have the energy any more.’

Alejandro was baffled. It was time to bring back some old-fashioned education and send him to his room. This evening, the young man fully understood the expression ‘to scream bloody murder’.

‘I want my mama’ was screaming the threenager. But, to Alejandro’s surprise, Maria didn’t interfere. The spoiled brat stayed in his room, stopped crying and finished all his food. That was a first victory. But the king wasn’t defeated. It took many other time-outs and a lot of disciplining for Juanito to have a bit less attitude. And you know what? He even started to like his new ‘uncle’.

Victoria gone, having a three-year old chaperon most of the time, made the couple feel that they’ve skipped the dating phase, the engagement, the honeymoon and the first years of marriage altogether. They were already a couple with a child. Without the foundation of a long-time relationship, that was very challenging.

Plus, the young man wasn’t sure of how to treat Juanito. He made Maria’s son call him uncle but was he more than that? Should he start to treat him like his son or should he wait to be married? Did he have the legitimacy to do it anyway?

Alejandro was hoping that with his boss/mother-in-law coming back, things will be easier.

Well, he was wrong. After the king, he was about to fight the queen.

Continuará…

The Day My Blog Reached 1,000 Views

More than 1,000 views. Waw! I don’t know if it’s a lot in the blogosphere but I’m really happy about it.

I’m happy that you enjoy my stories and my writing. Happy that people I know and people I don’t follow the blog. Happy that  it helps me keeping in touch with my friends and relatives overseas. Happy that it helps me to see the funny side of things.

Many thanks for all your comments, likes, proofreading. Hope to keep you enjoying the blog for a lot of other days in Hadistan.

Some facts about the blog:

March was the month with the most views so far. I guess that my life turning into a telenovela was a big part of the success. At least I can get a little reward out of it!

‘The Day’ with the most views is The Day I Played in Little Mosque on the Prairie.

The person who commented the most is Azra. (JazakAllah dear) She’s a blogger too. Have a look at her writings: www.azurah.com

The most viewing countries are:

#1 Australia, the country where I live, with 429 views,

#2 France, the country  where I used to live,

#3 South Africa, a surprise, since I’ve never set foot there. I guess I owe it all to  this encounter I made few years ago in Palestine with a South African brother. It lead to a lot of other encounters since then.

If you look at the map, Europe, Australia, the Middle-East and even the US… the world is getting Hadistanised!

Once again THANK YOU and please keep on commenting. I really appreciate any feedback. You can follow me and receive a notification by email every time I post an article by subscribing.

With peace,

Hadistani

The Day I Got Married

What happened to me? Did I go even crazier than usual? I told you my life turned into a telenovela recently. Getting secretly married is a good end to the story.  

After having announced the big news on Facebook, it took only a few minutes for my friends to react. Qatar, Australia, France,  the word spread from the Southern to the Northern Hemisphere. That’s the beauty of modern technology I guess.

Some were offended : ‘Thanks for the invite.’

I had to add that it was only a nikah, a religious ceremony, to explain why nobody was invited.

Some were happy and congratulating : ‘Alhamdulillah…May your marriage be blessed.’

Some were shocked : ‘Whaaaaattt?’  or ‘What did you do?’

Some had to write or call me. 

And some checked the date : ‘This better not be an April Fools joke. Mabrook otherwise.’

‘I guess April fools right ?!’

Yes it was!

I’m not only the person who gets tricked (see The Day I Had The Most Surprising Surprise), I do it too!

For some reason, French speakers were the ones who bought it the less. Maybe the tradition is more important there. In France, when I was in primary school, we used to put a fish on people’s back. It was before social media gave us all these new options for practical/virtual jokes.

Thanks anyway for your kind messages. God willing, one day it will be for real.

Life lesson: Never get married on April 1^st if you want people to take you seriously.

 

The Day My Life Turned Into a Telenovela (3)

Episodio 3 – A Meddling Mother-In-Law

Six months? Alejandro started to analyse the ultimatum when his phone rang. It was his mother calling from Mexico. She was already aware that he was dating Maria, so he asked her: ‘She wants us to get engaged in six months. What do you think?’

‘Six months? Yes, that’s fair.’

‘Really? Isn’t it too short?’ Coming from his mother, this answer was really surprising. Alejandro wanted to wait one year. His parents divorced and he promised himself that before getting married, he will wait to be sure and get to know the person for few years beforehand. But Alejandro is now 27 and that tips the balance. She seems to have all the criteria to be a good wife for him, so why not?

‘Ok. Six months it is. Ay Dios mio, six months!’

***

Reluctant at first, Victoria Sandoval accepted that the couple would date for this amount of time. Even if she wanted them to get engaged straight away, Esteban, her son, convinced her. But two weeks before she left the country to monitor her charity work in Mexico, she changed her mind and called Alejandro. Her voice was different than usual. She sounded alarmed.

‘This situation is too stressful for me. What if someone sees you together! What about our reputation? It has been two months now that you’re going out. It’s enough. We will only have a small gathering at my mother’s house so we can introduce you to the whole family. After that you will be free to see my daughter as it pleases you.’

Just after he hanged up, Alejandro called Maria. She explained him that this gathering at her grandmother’s would be considered as an engagement. Victoria has sent her a message too and the young woman was panicked.

‘I can’t get engaged just like that, in precipitation. Who gets engaged this quickly’ said Alejandro.

The couple decided not to accept and wait six months as agreed before.

Palm Beach by F.N.

Not long after, Victoria Sandoval left for Mexico. During her time there, Maria sent her some pictures of her and her boyfriend. One of them made her say:

‘Be prepared to get engaged when I come back.’

Alejandro realised that Victoria Sandoval would be a meddling mother-in-law.

He will soon become aware that it was, in fact, the least one can say.

Continuará…